So, about eight months ago, I began this tradition of bad-movie-watching with my friend. We go to the crap theatre at Ballston - it's on the Metro line - and buy kid's matinee tickets at the machine, so we're in there for about six bucks each, buy enough Skittles to eat and throw at the screen, and spend the whole afternoon bickering and watching bad movie after bad movie, and argue about which one is the most awful. It's great fun. But the reason I brought it up was that the movie that started this whole tradition was a shoot-em-up called Street Kings, and it's now out on DVD.

Do not get me wrong: this is possibly one of the worst movies ever. It reinforces every racial, ethnic, economic, and gender stereotype that exists. Hugh Laurie is brilliant but criminally misplaced - it's as if they just decided to drop Dr. House in there for no reason whatsoever - and Keanu Reeves looks and acts like they stole him out of the big display window at Macy's. The only saving grace is Officer Disco, played by Chris Evans, and his tentative chemistry with Ludlow (Reeves). And I will say this, because I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to see this movie in any other context than drunk night: he dies. Woo-hoo. Big spoiler, except, not really.

And despite all that, I ended up writing a bit of fic for them. Do I know why? No. Best guess, I felt like entertaining my Id. Maybe a little of guede_mazaka's influence in there too. Because, again, big spoiler: it's a little fucked up. But I'm cleaning out my hard drive in preparation for The Biggest Damn History Paper Ever Written (otherwise known as How Jack Kerouac Is a Gay Misogynist Ass), and I found this, and I figure, hell, it's the week before the Christmas Rush, everyone needs a bit of anger in their lives.

Especially those working in retail.



end titles for a film
tom / grace, tom / disco
street kings; r-whateva. warnings for spoilers, sex, death, and the over-overuse of the word "fuck".

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Housekeeping: title and lyrics from Deb Talan's "Rocks and Water". That's about it.

I'm starting to think there's some sort of mathematic rule of V's Fic Writing - the amount of time I had to finish the piece varies inversely with the amount of hours I have left before the deadline when I finish it, or something. In this case, it was about three months / two hours.

Head, meet desk.



rocks and water
"joni and her mum, alternate ending to 1.4, life in mexico." gen.
life on mars; pg-13. written for the 2008 lifein1973 ficathon.

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1. SpikeTV is having a Star Wars marathon this week and oh, George Lucas. Futuristic tupperware, Luke's hair, bad Middle-Eastern stereotypes, the attack!Teddies... SUCH CHEESE, but I can't believe how much I've missed it. And it's so strange, seeing them in order—the knowing that Obi-Wan was once young and strong, who is behind the black suit, "that strange old religion" called the Force... It's all so much more poignant, even with the bad special effects.

...I want my very own Yoda. Like, now.

2. Having listened to my newest Psapp album rather obsessively, I can only concur that if crackfic had a theme song, this would be it. I mean, squeaky toy as percussion instrument? Why not?

3. In other news, Meredith!fic is eating my brain. NOTES EDIT REWRITE EDIT REWRITE. This is going to be my mantra for the next ten million years, I know it. But in the meantime, have some shameless fluff. It really is quite soppy. And, please, excuse my high-school Spanish. (Forsooth, it has come back to haunt me.)



with bloom to spare
claire / maya, claire / peter.
heroes; pg-13. vaguely AU. spoilers up to 2.11 Powerless.

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(Frankly, I'm amazed at myself lately. I've actually been getting stuff done.)

...Manipulation and locked-door romance, to the vague tune of .6, chain, as in "that which is locked". Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are presenting: Claire/Elle, the majority of which was written on post-it notes, file folders and taxi cab receipts, seeing as those are the only things I seem to have a large quantity of lying around. Title from Vienna Teng's brilliant song "1 BR / 1 BA" (which this bears absolutely no resemblance to, except if the girls are the 'upstairs neighbors'). Applaud and be warned - especially for any girl-secks within as I am not that talented yet.

ETA: Fucking hell. 4038 words. For me, this is a record. No wonder it took a bleedin' month to write it.



1 br / ba
heroes; r-whateva. claire/elle.
spoilers up to 2.11 Powerless

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Take me down, six underground, the ground beneath your feet - laid out low, nowhere to go, nowhere or way to meet... You gotta love the Sneaker Pimps, especially with a name like theirs.

Second of the Adam-fics. In which things actually happen, for once. Title from Bright Eyes' "No One Would Riot for Less". Got lines in here from Jeanette Winterson and Jean Rhys.

Yeah. This is trippy. This is weeeeird. This is self-righteous literary crap and I will get stoned at the public library for plagiarizing something that was obviously written by an aging hippy hooked on anesthesia-gas. In any case read at own risk.


kindness as a card game
adam (kensei) / yaeko, adam (kensei) / hiro
heroes; r-whatever. spoilers up to 2.11 Powerless

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I was not that interested at first. Heroes was going to shit and SciFi was banging a lot of drums about their new miniseries, so I was like, okay, I'll check it out.

OMGflkkjasdfkjghtnvljksdflkSQUEEE.

Tin Man has got to be the best thing since peanut butter. I mean, Alan Cumming! Snark! Mysticism! Flying tit monkeys! And even though Zooey Deschenael has all the acting skills of white bread (more on this later), los dos compadres Glitch and Cain give it all back. Maybe this is reason they are the flagship pairing of the fandom. Or maybe it's because, you know, they are just made of awesome.

And so, lo! In their honor, there be light fic.



i could tell you why (the ocean is near the shore)
written for the sekrit cabal ficlet battle
tin man; pg-13. glitch / cain

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