So, about eight months ago, I began this tradition of bad-movie-watching with my friend. We go to the crap theatre at Ballston - it's on the Metro line - and buy kid's matinee tickets at the machine, so we're in there for about six bucks each, buy enough Skittles to eat and throw at the screen, and spend the whole afternoon bickering and watching bad movie after bad movie, and argue about which one is the most awful. It's great fun. But the reason I brought it up was that the movie that started this whole tradition was a shoot-em-up called Street Kings, and it's now out on DVD.

Do not get me wrong: this is possibly one of the worst movies ever. It reinforces every racial, ethnic, economic, and gender stereotype that exists. Hugh Laurie is brilliant but criminally misplaced - it's as if they just decided to drop Dr. House in there for no reason whatsoever - and Keanu Reeves looks and acts like they stole him out of the big display window at Macy's. The only saving grace is Officer Disco, played by Chris Evans, and his tentative chemistry with Ludlow (Reeves). And I will say this, because I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to see this movie in any other context than drunk night: he dies. Woo-hoo. Big spoiler, except, not really.

And despite all that, I ended up writing a bit of fic for them. Do I know why? No. Best guess, I felt like entertaining my Id. Maybe a little of guede_mazaka's influence in there too. Because, again, big spoiler: it's a little fucked up. But I'm cleaning out my hard drive in preparation for The Biggest Damn History Paper Ever Written (otherwise known as How Jack Kerouac Is a Gay Misogynist Ass), and I found this, and I figure, hell, it's the week before the Christmas Rush, everyone needs a bit of anger in their lives.

Especially those working in retail.



end titles for a film
tom / grace, tom / disco
street kings; r-whateva. warnings for spoilers, sex, death, and the over-overuse of the word "fuck".

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