fanmix: pilgrim(s) [torchwood, suzie/gwen]

[vanitashaze]

1. ...This has got to be the funniest thing I've seen all week.

2. Part two of the femslash-fanmixes. (Yes, I know.)







Pilgrim [Sarah Slean]
Pilgrim, where's your head at?
Are you paying the birds to sing?
But it won't work on the true path
Where the wretched are growing wings
...
Pilgrim, whatcha looking at me for?
My disaster has come and gone
It left me by the roadside
With my shadow and one more song
[Download]


Together We Will Live Forever [Clint Mansell]
[instrumental]
[Download]


Black Dirt [Sea Wolf]
As the light fades from my eyes
I smile but don't know why
...
Here on the ground I lie
I cannot hear a sound as I die
It may be true that I lied,
Broke a promise that I tried
But my heart no longer beats
and when you kill you'll only leave
black dirt under your feet
[Download]


Borrowed Time [A Fine Frenzy]
Counting stars and passing cars on the interstate
The end is near, I feel it dear, but I am not afraid
Step, step right over the line and onto borrowed time
When it's life, not waiting to die
[Download]


Headlock [Imogen Heap]
I've been walking, you've been hiding
And you look half dead half the time
Monitoring you, like machines do,
You've still got it, I'm just keeping an eye
So what, don't care, will not, the end
...
You know you're better than this
[Download]


Late Goodbye [Poets of the Fall]
Your breath, hot upon my cheek,
and we crossed, that line
You made me strong when I was feeling weak
and we crossed, that one time
Screaming stop signs, staring wild eyes,
keep on flashing, flashing by
And we keep driving into the night
It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye
[Download]


Our Hell [Emily Haines & the Soft Skeleton]
First went wrong is hard to find
We're paralyzed, we apologize
Our hell is a good life
Last went wrong,
Where's my prize under the lights
Can we call it in?
We'll be on the road - can we stop?
...
What I thought was in is missing out
What I thought it was it isn't now
There's a pattern in the system
There's a bullet in the gun
That's why I tried to save you
But it can't be done
[Download]


Use Once and Destroy [Hole]
It's the emptiness that's all you have left
Too terrified of your frozen breath
It's a bitter mouth, it's buttered and knifed
It's the awful truth you fight for your life
...
I went down to rescue you
I went all the way down
Fill your hungry wretched life
Here they come, it's closing time
[Download]


Vertigo [Sarah Slean]
The heavens dropped a bag
Of red and white lights
Pearls that keep the highway bright
And it feels like being born,
Night driving,
The moon hangs a dangerous height
...
And I am full of love and consequence
Merciful, the sky of coal,
The beauty of the cars' electric light
The speed with which their destinies glow
[Download]


Gorecki [Lamb]
All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
I want to stay right here
'Till the end of time, 'till the earth stops turning
Gonna love you 'till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
[Download]


Love And War [Rilo Kiley]
All is fair and love and we're in love
Now that everybody's dead we can finally talk
Can vanity and happiness coexist?
All the lovers we've taken in direct view of the enemy
And we shift each other's body to accept the bullet
And continue the pleasure, it's the treasures of battle
It's only for the wounded, the purple-hearted
Why must you try to ruin my peace of mind
And they were only words and I never meant them
I never loved you, even in my weakness
You were fuel for the fire cannon fodder
[Download]


Ballad Of a Bitter End [The Poems]
If this is love
It hangs in doubt
It'll kill you or me
If we come out
But what a way to go
(Talk to me again,
Please talk to me again)
[Download]


My Vampire Heart [Tom McRae]
Darling I'm lost,
Adrift in the dark
I'm clutching your words to my vampire heart,
Once more
So let in the light, turn me to dust
If it don't end in bloodshed, dear,
It's probably not love
[Download]


Rid Of Me [PJ Harvey]
Tie yourself to me
No one else
No, you're not rid of me
Hmm, you're not rid of me
Night and day I breathe
Yeah, you're not rid of me
Yeah, you're not rid of me
I'll make you lick my injuries
I'm gonna twist your head off, see
[Download]

Comments

[vanitashaze.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yeah, I've been in love with Hole ever since I heard their "Violet" on the Women's Work (http://www.imeem.com/luminosity/video/MubmmEnZ/luminosity_sisabet_spn_womens_work_art_video/) SPN fanvid (which I highly recomend watching, if you're a fan. It is scathing, and brilliantly edited.)

[ticketsonmyself.livejournal.com]

I've seen that video and I love it forever! Since you're a fan of 'Women's Work,' I recommend the vids listed at Through Critical Eyes (http://community.livejournal.com/halfamoon/11869.html) (and 'Origin Stories,' (http://community.livejournal.com/halfamoon/2008/02/25/) if you're at all familiar with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel: The Series). Both posts were written for Half a Moon: 14 Days Celebrating Women. Through Critical Eyes recommends videos for Heroes, Smallville, Veronica Mars, and Gone With the Wind in addition to 'Women's Work.' Despite only casual familiarity with Smallville and VM, I've watched and really enjoyed all of them.

[vanitashaze.livejournal.com]

Re: "Jack" - Sigh. If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, the bark on the trees was as soft as the skies... I wish this was the way it had turned out for them, especially poor Jessicaniki. It's disturbing, really, how they dealt with her - here is this woman who for once is stronger than a man, and for that her life is ripped apart by the seams. And when she does use this unsual strength, the message is that it's "wrong", "unnatural". A violation of how things should be. Like the message is if you are a strong woman, you will pay for it. It reminds me of something I read once, where a woman was saying that a female friend had taken a self-defense class and when the friend and her husband got into an argument, he grabbed a knife. He felt so threatened, because he couldn't control her anymore without a weapon.

Re: "Sugar" - I love this song! And though I'm not familiar with Smallville, like, at all, it was a beautiful video to watch nonetheless.

Re: "Beethoven's Fifth Golddigger" - Hmm. Still thinking this one over; I admit, I really did not like Gone With the Wind or Scarlett O'Hara the first few times I saw them, but it's been a while. Maybe I should go back and reassess.

Re: "Martina" - For this, I have no words besides, oh. Ah. (This will haunt.)

[ticketsonmyself.livejournal.com]

I hate Gone With the Wind with a passion, so that shadowed my own viewing of 'Beethoven's Fifth Gold Digger.' I do love that dynamic vid editing and movement!

Since you liked 'Martina,' I recommend an excellent series on the treatment of rape in VM (three brief parts: 1 (http://thehathorlegacy.com/rape-in-veronica-mars-part-1/), 2 (http://thehathorlegacy.com/rape-in-veronica-mars-part-2/), 3 (http://thehathorlegacy.com/rape-in-veronica-mars-third-and-final/)) and comments, especially those for part 3. The author has also written a really good, short essay on the VM episode 'Debasement Tapes': 'Grade' is not the verb I'd choose (http://thehathorlegacy.com/veronica-mars-grade-is-not-the-verb-id-choose/).

Since you liked 'Jack,' I also recommend '3 AM Call.' (http://shati.livejournal.com/201480.html) It's about how Niki is portrayed on Heroes, how she's constantly forced in a victim's position and strives to discover her identity. (http://community.livejournal.com/halfamoon/11869.html?thread=51805#t51805)

I wish this was the way it had turned out for them, especially poor Jessicaniki. It's disturbing, really, how they dealt with her - here is this woman who for once is stronger than a man, and for that her life is ripped apart by the seams. And when she does use this unsual strength, the message is that it's "wrong", "unnatural". A violation of how things should be. Like the message is if you are a strong woman, you will pay for it. It reminds me of something I read once, where a woman was saying that a female friend had taken a self-defense class and when the friend and her husband got into an argument, he grabbed a knife. He felt so threatened, because he couldn't control her anymore without a weapon.

Yes, the treatment of these and other women on Heroes has been so sad. Oh Jessicaniki. That anecdote is really telling, too.

[vanitashaze.livejournal.com]

Heroes: in which women are comprised of man-cushions, tears, boobs, and a whole lot of blood to spread around.

(And the sad this is, I still love this show.)

[ticketsonmyself.livejournal.com]

As with other shows I've reluctantly decided not to watch in future: Heroes, why you gotta hate when all I want to do is love you?

P.S. I like that you've written Claire/Elle, though my horror of severe bodily damage in a sexual relationship (even when I know Claire regenerates) prevents me from giving more detailed feedback!

[vanitashaze.livejournal.com]

P.S.S.: And, ouch. But I supposed I deserve that.

...It's interesting, how much people (me) not only tolerate but subject Claire to easily, when they (I) know she can heal. Forgetting the whole: "It hurts, it just hurts for less."

[ticketsonmyself.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I don't mean that it's an unrealistic scenario for Claire/Elle! We have seen Claire be fairly casual about self-injury, after all.


What I liked about '1 BR / 1 BA':


From their fathers they learned this: it's always the women who weep, and the women who carry on.


Elle handed over her cellphone but stomped on Claire's, stiletto heel digging into the plastic frame as if it were Claire's skeleton cracking under her boot.


Claire reaches out to touch and Elle shoves her, hard. "Get your own shower," she says.

(What she means is: I have no power here. What this means is: I am defenseless.)


How does it feel, Claire wonders, to set aside the still-crackling ghost of yourself each morning so you can shampoo your hair?


Any sensation is a stranger, a foreigner in the dull land of her body. If she were a normal human, Claire calculated, she would have been 97.9999% scar tissue by now, and evolution has its bumps, of course, its hiccups. Perhaps her nerves do not heal at the same rate as the rest of her cells, or they grow back strange. Perhaps the quicker she heals, the less she feels, until one morning she will wake up and not feel anything at all.


Is that what she was thinking, when she smashed her hand through a reinforced car window? Or is that what she thinks now, when her tongue traces the stress lines of Elle's face? Soon - soon for her, at least, the immortal one - those lines will be real, they will be permanent. Elle may be a flat plateau but wind can cut through rock. And when it happens, she'll be ready. When it happens. In the half-light she thinks is the sun through the curtains, plans follow the shell-curve of her ear and slither into her mind. And at night, Claire dreams of escaping, and wakes to find she's sweated through the sheets.


"Aren't you cute?" Elle grins, and Claire looks in the mirror.

"No," she says, "I look like you."


The scene with the groceries, and—

"What're you looking at?" she snaps, and Claire doesn't have the heart to tell her.