But I get the impression that there's a lot of mysogyny involved whenever Ruby's discussed... This, sadly, is so true. To be honest, I think that Supernatural is probably one of the worst fandoms I've come across in terms of women being awesome and loved and respected, or even not bashed mercilessly, which I feel like comes back to the writers - there's a lot of good writing in Supernatural, but a lot of shit, too, and the crap misogyny draws fans who are attracted to that woman-hating, male-focused aspect of the stories. But thankfully not all of the fandom is like that, and there are a fair amount of fen who write/fanmix/draw awesome, interesting SPN women. Not many, but they exist! Like you, though, I came into the fandom way late (in a word: Castiel), and I haven't found nearly as much Ruby/other women meta as I'd liked, though everysecondtuesday might be a good person to trawl around for/ask - she's the one who got me interested in Ruby in the first place.

GO GO FIRST REMIX. It's the hardest, but also the most fun!