le official sigh: rest in peace, big bang. your deadline came too soon.

[vanitashaze]

Well, you guys, September 29th has rolled around, and it's official: as I feared, I didn't finish my Big Bang.

There are several reasons for this, but surprisingly, the one thing I was really worried about - word-count - was still a problem, but not nearly in the way I expected. I didn't have any problem reaching 40,000 words - my problem was that I was 40,000 words and only halfway done! Most of the things that needed to happen for it to make sense hadn't made it in there yet, and there were a lot of plot points, which I suppose brings me to the second reason I didn't finish. I bit off way more than I could chew, guys. For fear of having no plot and nothing to write about I created this totally complicated one.

In addition to all that, I really should have known better than to have attempted writing a novel in the senior summer of high school, just when Hurricane College is about to hit. I'm applying to a bunch, visiting even more, writing filing cabinets' worth of essays, putting together a visual portfolio, a vocal portfolio, editing my written portfolio. I thought I'd have time, but the truth is, even in July, the palm trees were already starting to rustle.

I may continue this monster; I may not. In any case I suspect that even when I finish it, it'll need to go through several drafts before it's even presentable, much less any good. Because, apparently, that writer who takes thirty-five years to write their masterpiece? Yeah, that's totally me.

So, did I learn things? Yes. Was I glad that I tried it, even if I didn't succeed, so at least I wouldn't have any regrets on that front? Yes.

Am I still pretty fucking disappointed?

Well. You can guess.

Comments

[redfairie19.livejournal.com]

Not to sound all teachery but it really is so awesome that you tried! All those things you learned will transfer to all the work you do in the future! And I think that deserves a congrats even if you didn't finish!

And don't worry if it takes 35 years. I'm still so investing in it!

[vanitashaze.livejournal.com]

Teachery? Not at all. ;)

And, thank you. It's nice to know I have some cheerleaders. While I didn't finish the Big Bang in time, I think I might continue to work on this one a while - on the one hand, I'm kind of sick of it, but on the other, I put in so much work towards it, and I'm kind of loathe just let it die. So, we'll see. Maybe I'll finish it; maybe I won't. At least this way, I have some time to work on my remaining cliche_bingo (which, surprise surprise, didn't get in by the points deadline either).

[badesquisse.livejournal.com]

You don't know me at all, and I pretty much don't know you (except for having read one or two of your fics), but I was looking forward to your Big Bang. And I still do. I totally believe in taking your time to finish projects. So. I really hope that you finish this one, and if at some point you find that you'd like to have some art to go with your story, I'm at your disposal (you'll have to kick me and it'll probably take another 35 years, but it'll be done). Best wishes.

[vanitashaze.livejournal.com]

Not impertinent at all - in fact, thank you. Your comment was very sweet. As I said above, I probably won't be finishing it any time soon, but if I eventually do manage to, I certainly will look you up!