vanitashaze: Momo making a face. (erk.)
There's a television episode out there that deals with not only transsexualism but Christianity - in combination! - that doesn't want me to tear my eyes out in frustration?! And said episode, in fact, is philosophical, thoughtful, and respectful of both (but especially the former), and makes the assertion that you can be transsexual and not be "un-Christian"?!

(Admittedly, the constant pronoun confusion played for laughs was annoying, but it was written as mostly honest confusion - complicated by the fact that the transwoman in question had a son before sex reassignment and a lot of the episode dealt with that past - and not people being complete assholes. In fact, most of it was like, BOOM! BIGOT SHUTDOWN!)

...Whoah. Apparently there's intelligent life out there in the land of TV!
vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (it's just been that kinda day /)

vanitashaze: Ruby. (what at the heart of your engine's rage?)

Sometime in the last year or so, writing has gotten hard.

Also, does anyone know if they had baby carriers (the type you strap on your back, like a cross between a tiny parachute harness and a backpack - I think they're called Snugglies) in the early 80s? And if not, how would you go about carrying a baby for a long distance without tiring out your arms? I don't know why anyone would know this, really, but I've already exhausted my usual sources of historical knowledge (i.e. my parents), as they weren't carrying a baby (i.e. me) around until the 90s.
vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (come down on the road /)
Guess what, you guys?

vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (it's just been that kinda day /)
First of all, apologies to anyone who's waiting with baited breath (including, um, my assignee) for my remix. I was a very bad remixer this year, and actually had to drop out. Long story short, I severely overestimated my capability to multitask, and then got a fever and was stuck in bed for the duration of my extension. But, despite all this, I myself was remix'd!

For those of you who remember Mary, Melusine, Mary, Medea - the subtle horror, October-tinged McKay/Sheppard-with-Sheppard-backstory that apparently gave some people nightmares - this is a remix of that: Mary, Melusine, Mary, Medea (the Life As a Spinning Wheel Remix). And it is glorious. As the (as yet unknown) remixer said in her notes, "There's this really creepy question in the original story that I kept spying out of the corner of my eye: do people get taken, or do they just disappear? Is something sinister happening, or is it just... one of those things? It was a question I only touched on, but the remixer expanded into a fascinatingly creepy ambiguity, making this the ultimate interpretive story. While, despite which way the answer went, the McKay/Sheppard relationship in the original could only be read one way, the remixer turned the Life As a Spinning Wheel Remix either into a triumphant, hopeful account of John slowly opening up to Rodney and maybe even falling in love - or John as the mount of an unknown horror, a mysterious dark hunger riding on his back, following him into his home; a John who's fighting against unassailable odds, and losing.
vanitashaze: Kirk throwing up his hands. (Jazz hands!)
I have this rare affliction among teenage girls: I think of myself as more attractive than I actually am. I don't know how this happened, exactly, or why, but usually I'm pretty good with it, and it allows me to tell my friends - who are inevitably moaning and groaning over how awful they look, how they're fat and disgusting - no, if I'm attractive than you're really attractive, shut up, you're gorgeous, you know it's true. And that's great. But man, when this is true, there is nothing like seeing about ten thousand pictures of yourself from really bad angles (because they're shot from the audience), making scrunched-up, sour faces, because the character you're playing in the play is a simpering, abusive mother who wants her daughter to wed Demetrius or DIE. (Seriously - why?) It is not so helpful for the affliction; in fact, it is almost a cure.
vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (come down on the road /)
vanitashaze: Ruby. (what at the heart of your engine's rage?)
vanitashaze: Ambiguous hands around a throat. (liminality of violence and tenderness /)
Technically, I'm supposed to wait for Sunday to do this, but I'm posting this now, because I'm going to be busy studying for IB exams all of tomorrow (*face of supreme distaste*) and who the hell reads their f-list at two minutes to midnight, anyway? If the answer is you: don't speak! I would like to preserve the illusion of me being at least somewhat in compliance of the rules. Though to be honest, I'm wondering why I'm fanfaring this, because OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, THERE ARE SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS FIC. Or at least I think so. (For instance: I can't find a line I like enough to make it the summary. And that never happens.) Maybe I'm too hard on myself? But, uh, yeah. Read and let me know? And that isn't the shameless ploy for fic-readers that you think it is. Honest.

But anyways: for all you Supernatural fen out there, specifically those of the Dean/Castiel preference - reveals are (or soon will be!) up for the Secret Angels III fic exchange! Yay. Even though many of them were... not that great. I wrote for [ profile] oso_intricate, and it has slightly less of my usual tragedy and despair. Slightly. But it's Supernatural, so angst with a happy ending is like rainbows and puppies.

Basically, this is a story about Castiel learning how to feel, as narrated by Dean, who thinks neither of them can. There's fighting. And apparently [ profile] 22by7 thinks it's profoundly erotic?

Supernatural, Dean/Castiel, R. Warnings for brief graphic violence.

( It was a story about Castiel, first and foremost, though Dean and Sam had cameo appearances in it as well. )
vanitashaze: Text: "Idiot: member of large, powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant & controlling." (rampant! rampant!)
So I just had a really infuriating argument about all of Glee's SERIOUSLY PROBLEMATIC PROBLEMS (of which I could go on forever, but I won't, because this show makes me go AAAAAAAARGGH) with a friend who was convinced that Glee was "fluff"; that I was "taking it too seriously"; that it was a "coincidence" that the main storylines went to white, straight characters (and hey! Gay characters and disabled characters and characters of color exist! So obviously my argument is groundless); that the writers weren't racist (and sexist, and ablist, and homophobic), and if they were, it was because they "didn't know how to handle so many storylines", or (my personal favorite) "because they wanted good ratings, and nobody watches shows about gay people/black people/asian people/disabled people/women".

And this a good friend. Someone I really like. And who could not accept that it was a problem that Glee had problems.


Then I read this, and that made it a little better, at least in regards to the Brittany/Santana storyline. So that's something.
vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (great balls of fire!)
I get through my entire life without sneezing and sniffling like some of my more unfortunate compatriots, and then this spring - BAM! I'm hacking, sneezing, coughing, and just generally dripping my way through my IB exams. (Can we get a resounding "yuck" for... well, pretty much every part of that last sentence?) So, to cheer me up, here's a meme.

Name any story I've written, and any character in them, canon or OC. I'll tell you three things about that character which I didn't put in the story.
vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (it's just been that kinda day /)
I was going to write up a really long post on why I love these two episodes, but then I realized that it basically boiled down (heh) to this:


I am so full of love for Suki, and Hakoda, and Sokka, and Zuko, and Mai, and Ty Lee, and even a little bit for Azula. Even individually, they're amazing - SUKI SUKI SUKI OH MY GOD YOU'RE KICK-ASS, AND HAKODA YOU'RE REALLY FUN* - but I think it was the relationships in this one that did me in, from the formation of new ones (Zuko and Sokka's burgeoning friendship) and the rekindling of old ones (Hakoda and Sokka, Sokka and Suki), to their disintegration, or at least... metamorphosis (Zuko and Azula, Mai and Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee and Azula). This episode really hinted at a complexity to these relationships that we hadn't necessarily seen before, and more than anything, this episode was the advent of a complex and nuanced (and KICK-ASS) Mai who's not a caricature or a sidekick, but (along with Ty Lee) a fully realized person with courage and conflicts and loyalties, for whom the center cannot hold. Things are starting to fall apart in this episode - Azula and Mai's faceoff, and Ty Lee's seemingly unconscious but momentous choice of loyalties, my God that was an incredible moment - and things are shifting, and it gives me shivers.

Other things I loved:

- The leitmotifs and general soundtrack. They could have gone with dramatic, death-defying music for these two episodes - prison escape, come on - but instead they chose an eerie, quiet little piano-and-string riff that really underscored the feeling of "there are secrets in this place, things said and unsaid, hidden relationships and loyalties running underneath, plots afoot". Listen carefully when you're watching; you'll hear it too. This also marked probably the best use of the leitmotifs yet. I especially love how Sokka's Water Tribe drums were heard only when he was around certain people (his father and his girlfriend). Very telling about his state of mind.

- MAI. (Mai/Zuko.)

- The return of emotionally balanced, occasionally a buffoon but sometimes deadly serious Sokka.

- Zuko's newly fluid firebending style. Whattya know, he really did learn something from the LSD dragons!

- Zuko and the breath of fire in the cooler. I never quite got what people were always panting about in terms of Zuko, but I do now; that was incredibly hot. The hunched shoulders, that look, and of course the fire...

- Speaking of hot, what about those prison uniforms? Something about the cut was just... very nice, especially on Zuko and Suki. And the color was awesome too.


*Speaking of which, I want Hakoda/Bato/Kya. Like, now.

...I really need some good Avatar: the Last Airbender icons.
vanitashaze: Profile of Teyla. (we burn our boats each new year /)

[ profile] white_knuckle's Hearsay Is the New History. Prince Ozai and Princess Ursa do not celebrate the birth of their firstborn.

All you Avatar: the Last Airbender fans out there: you must read this, for it's incredible. This is the tragedy of Zuko that we all know too well - the battle between good and evil, between free will and destiny, choices that change the world - except this time, the writer expanded it, made the same themes echo back across the bloodline to make it bigger than Zuko, older and deeper ingrained. She makes the tragedy of Sozin's line a story of sons and fathers, trapped in the same pattern over and over again, and gives me a rationale I can believe for what Ozai did, both to Zuko and the world.

And Ursa! Ursa is incredible in this, too. As one of the commenters said, this is "a fierce Ursa, a dangerous Ursa, someone who is an equal to her husband. She will make the world kneel to make her boy strong." She's not weaker for her devotion; this is the woman who murdered the Firelord in his sleep for love for her son. I've had a hunger for this Ursa, and this is perfect and eerie and... gah. My only complaint is that there isn't more.

1. Jet chose his name. It's not canon, of course, but I believe it. I mean, apparently the characters for that name (杰特) happen to mean "heroic" and "special". Oh, Jet. I do have a fondness for him, in the same way I have a fondness for Hama, or perhaps a sympathy. They're completely terrifying, of course, but... they're what happens in war, and I'm glad the creators recognized that. Avatar may be not so complex on some levels, and rather immature on others, but they're better than most at understanding and portraying the different facets of war, the incredibly complex tangle it creates.

2. [Piandao to Sokka:] "You should have chosen Li. There are a million 'Li's." AHAHAHAHA ZUKO. HOW UNORIGINAL ARE YOU. Though I like to think that, in part, the reason why Zuko kept the name was because of the boy he met. As a reminder, maybe? Or a hair shirt. Knowing Zuko, probably both.
vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (the cantaloupes especially suck /)
So, posted the question about small-town lesbians in the 1980s to [ profile] little_details (thank you, [personal profile] nekosensei!), and... wow. Answers are really not pleasant, and you really get a sense of where the old-school gay activists are coming from. I feel like there's a disconnect in the gay rights movement - a generation gap of sorts, between the old-school activists (militant, segregationist, radical gay identity) and the newer-school folks (not militant, not segregationist; "it's not about sexuality, it's about equality"; especially gays & lesbians) who really de-emphasize the gay part. I mean, I'm definitely of the latter school of thought. For instance, it's always a little weird to see someone waving a rainbow flag; emotionally, at least, it seems a little bit like hanging the bloody sheets out of your window. (Intellectually, it's more complex, but that's my gut reaction.) And you know what, I'd prefer not to go through life as HEY LOOK HERE COMES THE LESBIAN, though of course to some degree I will. But damn, I can understand why there was that fierce... well, pride, if it came out of this.

All I can say is, thank fucking God for being born in 1992.

However, this poses a problem. Because, see, the fic I want to write (even though it's for the [ profile] lgbtfest) isn't about the fact that it's a lesbian affair; it's about love, and loss, and aftermaths, and all sorts of shit, but not that. Except, the lesbian thing seems so fucking HUGE I feel like I have to address it, significantly.

Thoughts? Advice? Brick to the head?
vanitashaze: Kirk throwing up his hands. (Jazz hands!)
I am getting into a fandom that rates things G, M, T, and where half the fic resides in the Pit.

Oh my god, kill me now.
vanitashaze: Superman kicking off a... boot? Duck? (In with the new and out with the ducks /)
I've searched through my library and used my meagre Google-fu to no avail, so I'm putting this out here: Does anyone know anything about female homosexuality - attitudes about lesbians from straight people, attitudes about lesbians from lesbians, culture, dress/mannerisms, etc. - in the late 1970s to mid 1980s? Keeping in mind, the characters I'm juggling are working- to lower-middle-class women in rural areas who wouldn't be involved (or possibly, even all that aware/concerned with) the women's movement or the gay rights movement, and who come from close-knit, probably conservative - but not necessarily Christian - families. They're probably not going to be "out" in any way, and they're staying in the above-described communities, not moving into places with a gay... er, area? Scene? Whatever, you get it.

Also, bisexuality, particularly female bisexuality. What was happening with the attitudes towards that, both within the gay community and the larger society? I know this was the beginning of the bisexual backlash among the male gay community, but information about female homosexuality is (unsurprisingly) sparse, and female homosexuality outside of the context of the lesbian community / gay rights movement / women's movement is even sparser.

Meta or personal experiences welcomed with gratitude, but I'll also take recs for any movies, books, tv shows, or pretty much anything else you can think of that's relevant and set in this period. (Thanks!)
vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (it's just been that kinda day /)
...I am incredibly charmed by the new Doctor Who. Everyone is so awesome! (AMY!)
vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (Only two doors: to die or to fight /)
Ahahahaha Buffy is on the Logo network.

Though really, that episode with the migraines and the fake sister is... actually quite creepy. Damn. I really don't want to get involved with this show! But I am charmed nonetheless.

(Also, this is kind of... surreal. There are queer people! All over my TV! And not in a gimmicky way, not in a secondary character or novel way, but... domestic. Cute lesbian couples trying to figure out which clown to hire for their kid's birthday party; gay guys having dinner together. It's just... damn. It's so normal.)


vanitashaze: Girl on a dark beach. (Default)

April 2012

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